Now that I know that there is likely no chance of me going to Torch this year I am bothered. Unsettled. Don’t know what to do next. So I quick step applied to Liberty.
The options are Christian Education in English or Christian Counseling in Korean. Now, I understand that there are courses I can take in English anyway however the actual program will be the Korean program.
Christian Education has been my field so far but I think I’m…
So today at the prayer meeting I was praying about my failure and how to move forward with all of it. Trying to discern whether I really want to do this or I just want something to do. I mean I think I want to do this but honestly I’m not entirely sure. And I think one of the main reasons that I got rejected was because I did not portray that well. I shared that I didn’t apply with the intention of coming, but rather with the intention of seeking God. And I thought that was an honest and good answer – but the reality is that I needed to have shared that it was this way or the highway. I needed to have strategically thought about how to share what so that I am being truthful to them, myself, and God, and at the same time not revealing what is going to be disadvantageous for me.
And I had this thought – I do want to think about and research, and help people who have high-functioning depression. I want to help people make the decision to keep living, to not end their lives. This is important to me. Whether this is a God call or something that is coming from me, I don’t know – but honestly if it’s what I am passionate about – saving lives – isn’t that what God is about?
Sunday’s message was about that – that God is in the business of saving lives. And that while God rested on the Sabbath, there was one thing for which God did not rest – saving lives.
So yes, I do want to study counseling because I want to help save lives.
I am already in the business of saving lives – but in many ways the lives I am saving are already ‘saved’ and I build relationships to sustain them in their relationship with God.
So let me keep thinking about what, how… how this is going to be different. Why this is going to be different.
Nehemiah was a governor and cup bearer.